I fucking hate us. I love you and you’re never going to do anything about it and I know that. So why do you come back? Why do I let you here? I’m tired of the crying, tired of the wondering where you are…. What you’re doing…. If any girls are yours… If we will ever fucking meet…. All these things go thru my head. Knowing I’m better off without you, but wanting you all at the same time. My throat is knots right now…. It hurts, like acid thrown onto you. You ARE my drug. The drug I won’t ever give up. I need your kiss, your love, and your compassion. I know you care… But do I see it all the time? No. Do I wonder if you have others? Yes, all the time. You’re my heroine.
All of this was a joke to you, wasn’t it? You knew I would cry, and you were right. Yes, I love you. But why? Because I’m stupid. I go to the one that has hurt me the most and let him love me slowly, until we crash into a cement wall. Then it happens all over again, the process never seems to end. We don’t even fight. We have our fake fights, but thats it. You’re the only guy who can break me like this and I can’t shake it. I can’t shake you and I can’t shake the thought of us being together one day. I know you’re not healthy for me, but you’re like my drug. Pulling me up, then tearing me down. Down until I can’t stand anymore, down until I try to give you the last straw and then you come back wanting to be here again. Why do you do this? Why do you want to be here? You know you’re better off without me. Or do you think I am your savior? Jokes on both of us I guess.